I was born and
raised as a Mormon, in Utah. Basically everyone I knew my whole childhood was
white and Mormon. Of course I watched movies and TV so I knew about the world
outside but I couldn't really see myself being anything but Mormon since that's
all I knew. I moved out of the state of UT when I was around 13 and saw the
wider world, where I learned more about other people and their views but still
my family was still very Mormon and we went to church all the time and I was
pressured to socialize heavily with Mormons and go to youth activities etc.
When I came of age to go on a mission (as is expected of all young adult males)
I struggled with the decision to go. I was having many doubts about the church
and my older brother had already left the faith and was giving me things to
read and made it clear he thought I shouldn't go and should leave the church as
well. At that time, I was 20 years old, my father and brother were having
health problems and were essentially both terminally ill. They both wanted me
to go and my love for them influenced my decision to give the mission a try.
Perhaps I would have some revelation or experience on my mission that would
give me the answers to my doubts, or so I thought at the time. So I went on my
mission. I regretted it from day 1. I was miserable as I was
immersed in Mormonism, trying to convert others when I didn't really believe
myself. A horrible place to be, living and breathing and convincing others on
beliefs I was not sure of myself. Eventually I got depressed and saw a
non-Mormon psychiatrist to talk to about my depression. He helped me to see
that I did not belong there. I also went on antidepressants at that time. Soon
after I gained the courage to tell my mission leader (mission president) that I
wanted to leave my mission. After trying to persuade me to stay and a couple
months went by, he finally agreed to have me leave. The good thing was he
actually arranged for me to leave the mission "honorably" with his
blessing and the blessing of the church. I think the fact that my family was
having health issues and I really should have been getting back to school
helped them to see that it was a good idea for me in the end. Skip forward a
couple years and I was back in college and sorting out what I believed and what
my involvement with the church would be. I was taking some anthropology courses
in college, which I loved, and studying human cultures and human evolution. I
had believed in evolution most of my life, since my brother was very studious
and into biology and the like. He had rubbed off on me and I always loved
dinosaurs and fossils etc. It was obvious evolution was based on the evidence
and facts but I had reconciled my belief in god with my knowledge of evolution
and science in general, but at a certain point I saw just how incompatible
these beliefs really are. To believe in the god and the story of the bible AND
evolution makes no sense, they are antithetical to each other. So at some point
I had become comfortable with the idea that there was no evidence for god in my
life or in the evidence of the real world around us. And to say that some book
written by iron age goat herders has the answers to the deepest questions and
reality of man's existence was obviously ludicrous. A few years have passed
since my college days and I am more resolved and comfortable with my beliefs
now, it was uncomfortable and difficult to transition at first but now, I am a
free thinker, I don't have to take someone's word for it or base my beliefs on
some collection of books that nobody knows who actually wrote them. There is
peace in knowing that my beliefs are in line and based on evidence and the
reality that we all share, which science has shown all of us to be true. Sure
there is much that is not known, and that is as it should be. We should be able
to say "I don't know" to questions which nobody has any evidence or
proof of. We don't know what happens when we die, we don't know what caused the
universe to begin, we don't know how life started or why, but we sure as hell
know enough to say with confidence that there is no evidence for a god that
created us in His image, the bearded white man in the sky. I do believe that
all religions have good in them , as well as bad. Just as the people who
devised and wrote the "holy" books and those who are the leaders of
their congregations. Religion is a belief system devised by man, based on
faith, which is believe without evidence. Religion is a superstition , the old
way of explaining the world. We have a better way to explain the world now,
SCIENCE. It has been verified to be the best method of finding out what is true,
as far as we know now. And science is ever changing , since it is humble enough
to question itself and always look for more evidence to prove any theory wrong.
One thing science does not directly answer for us is 'what is the purpose of
life?'. We do not need science to answer this, we must answer for ourselves, in
what we believe is worth living and dying for, but please live and die for
things that you can back up with evidence, at least as much as possible. I
believe we all must try to be kind to each other and be productive members of
our society. Ethics and morality have and will continue to be shaped, not by
religious superstitions, but by reason and empathy. I will say that even though
I believe that religion
is the source for many of the social ills and wars of past and present,I do not
feel that religion is alone in the misleading of minds and energies. Any and
all beliefs that are not based on evidence we can all observe or are open to
scrutiny should be avoided and called out for what they are. This includes
religion, astrology, pseudo-science, most diet pills, tarot cards, voodoo,
witchcraft, alien abductions, big foot, political parties that claim to have
answers to all your problems and so much more. Issues of morality and those things that cannot be explained by the scientific method directly are very meaningful and important as well including art music and the mystery of why is there anything and life at all.
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